Love and Tupac?

Remember that time when I had this blog where I used to write really cool posts about Jesus n' stuff and then for some reason stopped writing because [insert really good excuse here]. I know I know, it's been forever since I've written anything on this bloggity of mine but since the world didn't end this year I decided to redeem myself by writing again starting the new year! Well, it's a day after but who cares. I'm actually really excited to start writing again because the Lord has been showing so much and life has brought so many changes and surprises these past two years. For instance, lately I've been thinking of becoming a rapper. Like Tupac but for Jesus. I kid internet. There will be no thug life for me but perhaps instead of a rapper I can be a poet, which is kind of the same right? Ok, it's not the same but I think Shakespeare totally had the potential of becoming an MC. Anyways, this is totally not at all what I planned this blog post to be. Let's just say I've been jotting down a lot of the things the Lord has been showing me and lately I've just been writing them in poems. And one of the things he's been teaching me is love. Something completely complicated yet simple and beautiful all at the same time.  Our concept in regards to love can become so easily distorted with how the world defines it in comparison to the way scripture defines it. One is simply a false imitation of the real deal and the other is a sacrificial act that challenges us to become like Jesus. And honestly, the second one sounds better. 


Teach me to understand love
Apart from feelings or tangible emotions
Apart from my own understanding or blurry notions
Not the kind of love that is portrayed on the screen
But the kind that hung on a tree to set the captives free
The kind that bled and died for me
Because in reality, love is simply more than male and female attraction.
In fact, that's not even a fraction of what it truly is but simply a distraction from the truth
It's "Even if you don't love me I sill choose to love you."
It is far beyond us
Far than what we can ever express
Even if we try we can't even begin to scratch it's surface
But one thing I do know and this I know clearly
And that is that love came down so that I could have life eternally
Love put himself last so that we could be first
Love sacrificed Himself for a sinful us
Love? Love is defined by a man named Jesus.


Take THAT tupac!!!!

It's time to answer the question....

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

 ¹⁴ They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

   ¹⁵ “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

 ¹⁶ Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Mathew 16:13-16

The religious leaders of Jesus' time believed he was nothing more than a blasphemous mad man who crazy talked his way through life. 

Others believed he was God incarnated who died a gruesome death to offer a perishing humanity eternal life. 

C.S. Lewis observed, "You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about Him being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to" (Mere Christianity 

2,000 years later, who do you say He is?

Life with a cold...

I've been sick with a cold these past two days and the horror that comes from throat soreness and germ infestation has left me quarantine. And to be quite honest I haven't been feeling inspired to write anything that's, I dunno, inspiring. So to those five people who read my blog, I'm sorry. The only thing I want right now is a healthy immune system, something other than herbal tea and a shower. According to my mother, showering when you have the flu is bad because it makes it worse. She's a mom, so she must know what she's talking about. Oh, and the putting Vicks vapor rub inside the nostrils trick really must open up the nasal cavity. As long as my nostrils have a clear pathway to oxygen, I'm not complaining. However, I do have to say that my scalp being oily is sooo not attractive. Dear Jesus I need some HEALIN' up in hea'!!!!  For the next couple of days my best friends will consist of tissues, a pillow, and like ten naps a day. I really wish I could write some super cool, spiritual posts that make you wanna go end world hunger, or something like that. Instead I'll be in bed fighting off this preposterous disease. I'm completely exaggerating, I know. It's all for good story. haha!

So carry around some hand sanitizer, eat some chicken soup, and don't walk around the house barefoot, because my mother told me that cold feet can give you the flu. Duh!

Happy flu-less Tuesday! :)

The things we don't talk about....

"We just don't talk about that in Sunday school" he said, with his hands folded on his knees. With an awkward and uncomfortable demeanor this church leader made it very clear that talking about sex in Sunday school was a topic too risky and controversial to cover. [Insert my squinted eye and lifted eyebrow in total confusion here.] I wanted to fling both arms in the air in total drama queen status and ask DUDE ARE YOU CRAZYYYY!?!? WHY DON'T WE JUST STOP PREACHING THE BIBLE ALL TOGETHER WHILE WE'RE AT IT!?! But before I could hand someone over my earnings and ask my mom for a hair tie I managed to sit there and listen to his argument, even though it was making me twitch.  A church leader and I sat in my living room a while back and he politely discussed his concern about the topic I had chosen to go over in Sunday school that previous weekend. As he happened to walk in on the lesson that morning I just so happened to be talking about this very subject. His concerns about the matter were raised and therefore decided to bring those concerns to my attention by letting me know Sunday school was not the appropriate place or time to talk about the sanctification of biological procreation.  If you don't speak nerd and wanna put it in lamens terms it's baby makin'. There. My class is made up of middle school students who attend public schools with pregnant thirteen year old girls and homosexual and lesbian affiliated clubs.  And this is just middle school!! I still fail to understand how talking about a bible based subject to hormonal driven teenagers is inappropriate. I am in no way condemning the opinions of this church leader or diminishing his love for God or the church, however, if the body of Christ is called to preach the word of God, and called to use the word of God as the primary mechanism to teach, rebuke, love and instruct the members of the church, then that means that every aspect of the scriptures is inspired by God and useful for teaching. Yes, even sex.

When the church begins to taboo certain subjects that bruise and wound the body of Christ then it fails to be the primary source of help to those who need it. Topics such as sexual immorality, pornography, homosexuality, lesbianism, masturbation (SweetBabyJesus even that!?), witch craft, politics, suicide, should Christians have tattoos or not, the hooking up culture, sexting and others are subjects that have been glossed over by various congregations. For fear of controversy and dispute from members of the church, topics such as these rarely reach the pulpit or small group studies. When the church decides to remain silent it gives the world a voice to educate the Christian community on matters such as these, leaving members confused and at times ignorant. We should not be afraid of culture and it's questions. Our culture around us is constantly changing and adopting new philosophies, trends, and belief systems. Ignoring them will only make us ill-informed and weak.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Should Christians shy away from cultural matters or learn ways to talk about them? I'd love to hear from ya'll! :)

Love,
Nanda <3

Video Post: October Baby

I saw this clip yesterday on my friend's Facebook wall and I literally was like WHAT!!??? But like in a really excited kinda way. October Baby is a film (coming out next Spring :)) that documents the life of an extraordinary girl named Gianna Jessen. Homegirl is an abortionist survivalist who boldly and passionately shares her triumphant story about her survival of a saline abortion, the power of healing, and the beauty of life to anyone who is willing to hear, weather it's to liberal politicians or her fellow Christian believers. The number of abortions per year in American are approximately 1.37 million and approximately 3,700 per day. Where worldwide it's 42 million a year and 115,000 a day.


Who's having abortions (age)?
52% of women obtaining abortions in the U.S. are younger than 25: Women aged 20-24 obtain 32% of all abortions; Teenagers obtain 20% and girls under 15 account for 1.2%.


Why women have abortions1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).


At what gestational ages are abortions performed:52% of all abortions occur before the 9th week of pregnancy, 25% happen between the 9th & 10th week, 12% happen between the 11th and 12th week, 6% happen between the 13th & 15th week, 4% happen between the 16th & 20th week, and 1% of all abortions (16,450/yr.) happen after the 20th week of pregnancy.

When it comes to this subject it's important we get informed and that this subject is made fully aware within the church. Thousands of unborn fetus's are being aborted daily mainly due to woman's rights. It's time we took a stand for the right of an unborn child.


Check out Gianna in Australia give her amazing testimony!

Quick update...

So it's been a while since I've paid any attention to this lonely bloggity of mine. And as much as I want to find a legitimate excuse that justifies my abandonment of this small web space of mine I can only come up with my laptop breaking down but that would be a lie and lying is a sin. Duh. These past two months have been, let's say, interesting. For one, my parents and I completely lost our home and we've now been living with my sister and brother in law for the past month. We're super grateful that they've so generously opened their home. The only downside is that now I have to sleep in the home office on a twin, air mattress that always reminds me how much I miss having, oh I don't know, a BED!! Whatever. At least it's making me practice humility because honestly, nothing is more humbling than sleeping on an air mattress that makes farting noises every time I move. And the fact that my sister and brother in law have Netflix I've grown to develop a fascination for reality television and a little comedy show called The Office, which by the way has become more of an obsession. Say Yes to the Dress and Michael Scott are seriously making me anti social. Or perhaps a little emo because all these wedding reality shows remind me that I'm still single, which is worse than sleeping on an air mattress every night. Ok, I'm kidding. Being single is great. Except when you watch chick flicks.

Life is like a bowl of fresh strawberries mixed in with rotten tuna and when you mesh them together you make strawtuna. [Yes, I just compared life to food and made up a new word] Don't hate on my similes or my word making skills. Anyways, back to my highly philosophical point. Life is a mixture of bitter sweet moments. For the past few months I've been an unemployed, 21 year old,  graduate student whose had no luck finding a job that will finally get her a decent phone with texting. Because as of now my smartphone still has no texting and I've recently added some clear tape to the keyboard because it's falling off. I'm ghetto, I know. In the midst of waiting it's easy to get anxious, or desperate if your like me. It's so easy to make a huge deal out of the small things that can easily get better or get fixed. I know a job will come along eventually if I continue to search for it, I know the Lord will provide my family with our own place to live, and I know I'll finally be the cool kid who has texting just like all the other cool kids do. It's always comforting to know that the Lord truly has every circumstance under His control. He doesn't abide under mans limited time but works out all things in His perfect timing.  I do have to say that these months of having no work and no homework to do has really lead to me to be in scripture and in prayer more than I've ever been before. I don't have as much distractions around me that I sometimes allow myself to keep me from spending time in scripture or prayer. But even when we are busy our intimacy with the Lord should not change and it should not be considered less valuable. I keep on telling myself this because next January I'll be starting the teaching credential program and I have a feeling I'll have no life. Jesus, I give you permission to strike me with lightning if I don't read my bible. :)

When life throws you strawberries and rotten tuna, make strawtuna. Ok, that's gross. When life gives you lemons make lemonade. But make a bomb lemonade with a slice of lemon on the edge of the glass and everythang'. Make the best out of every circumstance you're in and be confident in the fact that God has every single aspect under his control. He will never give us more than we can handle.

Faith that Works: Day 3

It's the middle of the week and it's the the third day of the Faith that Works series! :) Today's verses are verses 20-22 which read:

20You fool! Do you not want to be shown that faith without works is useless? 
21How was our ancestor Abraham put right with God? It was through his actions, when he offered his son isaac on the altar.
22Can't you see? His faith and his actions worked together; his faith was made perfect through his actions.

In yesterdays post I went over verses 18 and 19 which focused on how a faith that is not accompanied by good works is not a true and authentic faith. The faith that James is talking about is a God given faith that naturally produces good fruit. In today's verses, James brings up Abraham. A man who, in such a powerful way, demonstrated what a true faith looks like. We see this story in the book of Genesis. Abraham's wife Sarah gives birth to their only son Isaac at an old age and God promises Abraham that through Isaac  he would make him a great Nation. However, despite His promise, God asks Abraham to offer up his only son as a sacrifice. How difficult would that be!!??  Nevertheless, we see that Abraham is obedient and that he was willing to sacrifice his only son.

Abraham had faith. True, authentic, and real, God given faith. He knew that God never backed down on His promises. If God had promised that through Isaac he would make him a great nation, He was going to do just that. His faith in God's promises assured him that even if his son died at the moment of the sacrifice God would raise him from the death. And for those of us who know the story, we know that an angel of the Lord stopped Abraham's hand form sacrificing Isaac. Abraham's faith was put into action.

Faith allows us to fully put our trust in the Lord. It enables us to be obedient to whatever God commands us to do, regardless if don't understand why.

Questions to be asking ourselves:
* Do I fully trust in God's promises?
* Does my faith produce in me obedience?

Just two more posts ya'll! Stay tuned for tomorrow! :)

Faith that Works series: Day 2

It's day two folks, and today's focus is on verses 18 and 19 of chapter 2:


18But someone will say "You have faith; I have deeds." 
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. 
19You believe that there is a God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder.


In yesterday's verses, James explains how faith and deeds must work together. Faith must be accompanied by actions that help prove that faith is authentic, and that it is important to help meet the needs of others by a means of action. I personally love these next two verses because James gets a little ghetto. Or at least in my head he does. Like if he was saying these verses in person he would most likely snap his fingers and shake his head and verse 19 would sound something like this

Oh, you say you believe in God. So what?? I will cuuuuuut youuuu!"

Ok ok, that's totally not how he would say it. [Forgive me Jesus for portraying your servant James as being ghetto.] Anyways, James is simply trying to make a point here. And he does this in such a simple and smart manner. There are those individuals who will say that they don't need good deeds. In other words, saying they have faith is good enough. However, James says that it's impossible to say one has faith without actions being an extension of that faith. If we have faith, that faith, which is God given, will naturally produce in us the desire to do good deeds. If I claim to be a professional athlete then my actions will automatically portray the things that an athlete does: Training, eating right, exercising, etc.

In verse 19, James brings up a very important point. As a former angel of God, Satan was a first hand witness  who lived in heaven with God until his rebellion. [Isaiah 14:12-21] Along with Satan, the other fallen angels that followed him in his rebellion also lived with God in heaven. Therefore, there is no doubt that Satan himself and his demons are fully aware of the existence and nature of God. Yes, it can even be said that Satan and his demons have faith but it is not a faith that produces submission and consecration to God or one that desires to grasp salvation that comes from God. It is simply an intellectual and superficial "faith."  However, despite their knowledge of God it does not change who they are. Satan is and will always be a liar, a tempter, a deceiver, and all things evil. Same thing goes for demons. One cannot have the fruits of faith [Galatians 5:22-23] that are true and real without true and real faith. This faith is only and can only be given and produced by God. Faith without good works is like the faith that Demons have. It is dead. [James 2:17] Faith that is not accompanied by its expectant fruits of faith is no faith at all. If we say we have faith, authentic faith, then we will automatically produce good works.

A mere profession of faith does not mean the possession of faith.

Questions to ask ourselves:
* If I say I have faith, is there evidence in my life that accompanies that faith.
* Would my faith be considered an authentic faith or a faith that is dead?
Keep it real! :)

Stay tuned for tomorrows post ya'll!

Faith That Works series: Day 1

Today is the official start of my one week series titled Faith that Works: a study on James 2:14-26. I said it would start last week but it's taken me more time than I thought to study and put this all together. Ok, I lied and I lagged it a little. I'm a sinner, don't judge me. :p

Moving along, today's focus will be primarily on verses 14-17 which read:
14What good is it, my brothers if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him "Go I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it not accompanied by action is dead.  

If the book of James could be summed up into one sentence it would be : "faith without deeds is dead." This passage is crucial, particularly verse 17, because it pretty much summarizes everything James was trying to make Jewish Christians of his time understand.  A belief in God that is not shadowed by actions is useless.  James, one of Jesus's brothers who did not become a believer until after the crucifixion, gets straight to the point in these verses and wastes no time in explaining how both faith and deeds can never exist without the other being present.

Verse 14: James is speaking here specifically to those who call themselves Christians. To those who say they are born again individuals. [John 3:1-15]  They go to church, they got baptized, they publicly announced their conversion to the church, etc.  James is referring to the person who claims to have faith, in other words a belief in God. [Hebrews 11:1] Not many gods but one God.  However, if this person makes such claim yet has no deeds to prove his conversion was genuine than that faith is no good. When James says, "can such faith save him?" he is not saying that a person needs to do good works to save him. The bible is clear that good works cannot save anyone. [Ephesians 2:8] Faith alone in Christ has the power to save, however, faith naturally produces in us the desire to good works.

Verse 15-16: These two verses are a perfect example of what faith should look like and what it should do. James was concerned about how Christians should treat others and how our faith as believers should be reflected in the way we respond to those in need. Telling someone in need we wished things for them would get better instead of actually doing something that helps change their spiritual or physical needs is pointless. So what if I say to a family who is struggling to put food on their table how I just hope things for them would get better? They're still going to be hungry! My pity little comment or a simple pep-talk isn't going to change their circumstance. I may not be able to provide for them a years worth of food, but me showing them that I care enough to do what I can to help is enough. Whatever you can do to show someone in need you care is enough. Doing good unto others should be an an extension of our faith. It shouldn't be all about saying good things, but doing good things.

Verse 17: And here it is everyone. A faith that is not accompanied by a radical way of living is fake and useless faith. It is hypocritical to say "I have faith" yet do nothing to show and prove that faith is real and authentic. The faith that stands by itself that James is talking about is one that is dry and hollow.

Few questions we need to be asking ourselves:
*How am I exercising my faith?
* What am I doing to meet the needs of others?
*  How important to me is doing good works?

It's time to put our faith into good use and make evident that we have faith not only because we say we do, but because by our actions we show that we do. And looking at this long post, I hope I didn't bore you guys. Just know that reading makes you smarter. Just saying.

So stay tuned for tomorrows second post on Faith that Works. Holla!!

Video post: 6 letters. 1 message.

It is the most powerful story ever told, but it is one that is hardly told.
It's life changing, yet rejected by many. It's soul saving but mocked by plenty.

Here's that story...

Faith that works: One week series intro...

So with the new title of my blog and all, I've been feeling inspired lately. Inspired to do something new and different. This inspiration led me to cut up a t-shirt into a "rock" inspired look I saw in a blog the other day, however, the one on the blog looked so much cooler than mine.  But because I was feeling inspired I tried on my "rock" inspired cut up t-shirt with silver hoop earrings and some black leggings. What was I thinking, I looked like an 80's hootchie experiment gone wrong!! Or something along the lines of a Kiss groupie. Anyways, something tells me I could never be a rock goddess.

All this inspiration talk leads me to something I have never done before on this bloggity of mine. Being that the title of my blog is "Walk the Talk" I've decided to share a one week series where I discuss the importance of building up a faith that is expressed not only through words but through actions. Starting next week, I'll be in the book of James chapter 2:14-26 talking about faith and deeds and how it is impossible for one to co-exist without the other. So stay tuned next week!

Proof the bible cares about shoes...

If I could own a closet full of them, I would. Because I'm love with with them. They make me happy, they're attractive, they compliment my outfits, and they go everywhere I go. If shoes were guys I would date them. So when this past Thursday's young adult study was a message regarding shoes I died and went to heaven. Because honestly, when do you hear a preaching about the very thing that makes girls want to blow an entire credit card? But to my dismay, the speaker didn't focus on wedges or cute flats but rather a type of shoe that is essential in the spiritual battle that wages on every day in the life of a Christian.


   "And, as [shoes] for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the Gospel of peace." 
Ephesians 6:15 ESV


It's noted that often times the armor of a soldier is recognized based on the type of weaponry he or she carries. However, the type of shoes a soldier wears are often ignored or not given much importance. But if you ask a soldier if the type of shoes he wears are important after he's walked through muddy and slippery soil, hiked a steep mountain, and dodged bullets all day, his answer will most definitely be yes. If a soldier's feet are protected, fastened, and guarded from dangerous terrain that may cause harm to his feet he will stand solid and firm when in battle. A roman soldier during the apostle Paul's time depended on the type of sandal he wore. His feet were fitted and grounded.

So when it comes to the spiritual battle between us and Satan, we need some good shoes. Our feet should be fastened with the Gospel so that with it we may be able to withstand the enemy's schemes. The Gospel should be the foundation from which we stand on and hold on to when the enemy dodges bullets. So like the speaker last Thursday said, don't be a barefoot Christian. Barefoot Christians are wack. Ok-I added the "wack" part. Don't hate. And besides, no one likes crusty feet. Just saying.

Happy Monday!

Video post: Playing background

Egocentrics should have no place in a life that has died to self.

                       "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me..."Galatians 2:20

So why do we get in the way of the glory that He rightfully deserves? We're not impressive nor do we have anything to show for except Jesus. And if we would come to terms with the reality of God's holiness and unfathomable power we would realize that life is all [not] about us, and all about Him.

Remember, He's the show. We're just watching backstage. Word to ya motha!

And today's video: Lecrae Ft. C-Lite with "Background."

My first boyfriend, being thirteen, and some quick advice

She laid down in the red couch in Sunday school class with her phone in her lap and told me of how the cute boy from church asked her out. "I thought you guys were just friends!!"Apparently I'm the only one out of the loop when it comes to the dating lives of my teenage students from church and she made it clear. "How did you not know we were going out? It's been like two months and the whole youth knows!" Her friend swooped her curled bangs from her face and rolled her eyes at my surprise. Just like teenagers do. And as she blushed about her young crush on the boy with braces I remembered what it was like to be thirteen and going out with my first boyfriend Alfredo. He was really skinny and had big spiky hair. The kind that shined because of all the gel he put on. My mom never found out about him because she would most likely lock me away in a castle somewhere with a chastity belt. I kid, I kid. [So mom if you're reading this, I promise I didn't kiss him!!!] Anyways, my middle school fling ended in like two months and my love for spiky hair'd guys was over. I'm into fro-hawks these days. But not shiny ones. Duh.

There aren't many responsibilities at that age. What's important at thirteen is wondering when Alfredo is going to hold your hand and give you a hug during passing period. And having your first make out session after school. I'm kidding mom!! But when your past middle school, past high school, and now in college or perhaps even past college, things change. Relationships start to really matter and keeping ourselves accountable when it comes to dating is important. Two month flings become immature and weak. Except for make out sessions of course. Again, I kid mother!! We have to remember that as Christians we're called to be  radical representations of who Jesus is, so making sure we're able to honor God in who we date and how we respond or act around the opposite sex is vital.

Quick advice:

*Ladies, hide the treasure "chest" and keep the pirates "booty" covered. Save the goodies for your husband and don't be a stumbling block in the spiritual lives of your brothers in Christ.

*Guys, be aware that a girl feeds off of your actions and most of all your words. Be sincere in your words and respect the hearts of your sisters.

Keep it holy ya'll.

Be bold...

Be BOLD. Have the guts to stand out in a world where everyone just blends in. We're not just anyone. We're resurrected individuals who have been brought to life to live and fight for Christ risen. To raise the dead from their graves with theological truths and a radical lifestyle that bleeds and screams Jesus. We're warriors and soldiers who fight demons and dominions with a spiritual sword and a holy armor.  No, we're not just anyone. We're the ones whose lives have been eternally transformed by the power of Him who died and was raised from the dead. Whose souls were once headed straight to the pit of a burning lake of fire due to a horrid curse, but through grace have now been saved forever. We're anything but ordinary.

Be LOUD. LIVE IT. SAY IT. Be the witness with enough swag to proclaim Truth. Be a huslta' for the Gospel to make it heard. Make a statement on the streets and be a gangsta who stands up for righteousness.  In the midst of a messed up world it's up to us to statement. Because we're nothing but ordinary.

To him...

Proof that my best friend Pam and I need help. Or a man.

Like two little girls in a candy store, we headed straight to the wedding magazine section. Barnes & Noble offered these two wedding junkies a bridal magazine selection that made us swoon over each page filled with designer wedding gowns, wedding cakes and all things sparkly. If you ever get to be in the same room with my best friend Pamela and I, you will soon realize that we have a deep appreciation for weddings. Primarily our future wedding. Some say it's an obsession. I say it's, we're girls and we can't help that our DNA has been implanted with particles  to scientifically produce a desire in us to want to have the wedding of our dreams!!! I WILL have a candy bar with little pink m&m's that have mine and my groom's initials on them!!! No...it's not an obsession. And yes, I blame it on science. It also doesn't help having a wedding photographer as a sister who gushes over matrimonial conversations. She doesn't make it better. Color palates, silk linens, flowers, fondant or no fondant, hair pieces, first look, the vows oh sweet mother of pearl!!! I can't handle all this fabulousness in one post! From the time I was a wee lad (yes I said wee and lad in the same sentence) I've imagined, dreamed of, what my wedding would look like. Be like. Feel like. What wedding dress I would wear. What emotions I would be feeling as my arm is tucked under my dad's as he walks me down the isle to meet my smokin hot groom. How my heart will jump at the sight of my soon to be beautiful husband at the end of the isle. Our first dance.  Because apart from what color my bridesmaids will wear, I'm excited to meet the man who will wear the tuxedo. To him...


 I already love you. I don't know who you are. What you look like or if you like to watch chick flicks or not, but I cannot wait to one day meet you. And when I do, I hope the hair gods are on my side. To hold your hand, to go on our first date , to make you go shopping with me, to call you my best friend, to be bums and decide to rent a movie because we're too lazy to go out, to fall in love with you. But more than that, to see you get down on one knee and ask me to be your best friend forever. To submit to each other under God's grace and love you more than myself. To support you when your feeling weak, to give you a foot massage when your tired, despite the fact that I clearly don't like feet, I just ask that you cut your toenails, to laugh until our stomachs hurt, to serenade you really cheesy songs because you will soon find out I like to sing all the time, to call you my husband.  So until that day comes, I will wait. Looking at wedding magazines with my best friend and imagining how you will look in either a light brown or pink wedding suit. I'm kidding on the pink suit. haha I'll get the right color I promise. But while I figure out weather I should go with roses or tulips I will guard my heart  falling more and more in love with Jesus so I can love you the way He's called me to. I love you. 


Always, 
Fer <3


P.S I talk in my sleep. Hope that's ok. 

Video Post: Hold me together....

My life sometimes looks like my sock drawer in my closet. If I forget to pair my socks together I always end up wearing a white sock with a striped orange one. Maybe that explains the reason why I choose sandals over tennis shoes.

I honestly wish I could say that I have my entire life together and that every aspect in it is more organized than the alphabet. My life is comprised of dysfunctional situations, confusing circumstances, mood swings that can be confused for bipolar disorder, and a sock drawer that apparently is in desperate need of organization. A few weeks ago, I sat around a bonfire in my sister's backyard with some of my closest friends, as they celebrated with me my college graduation. Some of them took the time to share some humbling and amazing comments regarding myself. Basically, they came to the conclusion that I'm the epitome of all things awesome. Duh! But really, in all seriousness, I am short, better yet shorter than shortness of being called great or inspiring. I am a girl who desperately wishes to have every single part of her life together and dreads making a mistake that everyone dropps their jaws to. I am prone to failure. And I have failed. I am prone to be spiritually weak. And I have been. I am prone to walk away from the God who offers me grace and forgiveness everyday. I am an absolute mess without the love and grace of my beloved Father. I am no where near inspiring, but simply a wretched sinner who strives and pleads for Jesus to hold her life together through his mercy and unconditional love. I want Him, no no, I NEED Him because without Him life looks messier than my sock drawer. And with that said, heres a video of one of my most recent favorite songs. I figured it goes perfect with this blog post.

P.S I think I may have developed a minor crush on the lead singer, despite his bright red pants. It's like he knows my soul.

If life were a movie...

If life were a movie I would be the girl living in a really nice penthouse somewhere in New York, with a really cool job, really cool car, no wait, really cute stilleto heels because no one drives in New York. Duh! Oh, and I would have really cool powers. Like reading minds or something. And, I would have a crystal ball in my room that made all my problems dissapear. And I would always feel safe because spider man would be my next door neighbor. Life would be perfect if only it was a make believe, fantasy script that had magic crystal balls that made all problems vanish with a quick command. But it isn't. Life doesn't have rewind or pause buttons that allow us to control every minute of our existence. It is filled with unexpected circumstances that either make us want to run and hide or do the hammer dance on top of a table [can't touch this...tu nu nu nu!]. This world we call home is one where hearts get broken, people go hungry, murder is prevalent, people loose they're jobs, gas prices suck and  people cheat on their taxes. Annie was right, it's a hard knock life. That red hair of hers was full of wisdom.

But before you guys think I'm some pessimistic girl who needs anti depressants and hates the world. That's not the case. Except for that one time when I was stuck in traffic for almost 2 hours, oh and that one time when my heel broke. Where's that crystal ball when you need it! In a world cursed with sin, however, there is still hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for those who trust in the Most High. As Christians, we live and are part of a culture and society that is infested with sin. It is no wonder Jesus told his disciples to live a life that was holy and set apart from a sacrilegious culture. We have a nemesis who hates us and one who lives and breathes to steal our joy while were still in this world.  Life may not be a movie, but we do know that this life has a happy ending for those who have trusted in Jesus. We will see Jesus one day and there will be no more broken heels or getting cut off on the freeway. Whoop whoop! [can't touch this...tu nu nu nu!]

Jesus told his disciples, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 We cannot escape our troubles. We will experience hardships in life. But, the troubles we endure now are nothing more than temporary. The script has been written and the ending has been foreshadowed. Death was conquered on the cross by the most merciful and courageous Character who ever lived, thee main Character who made a spectacle of himself and did a heck of a performance. Our sins have been thrown to the depths of the see and there is hope of heaven after this life is over. The props? A cross, three nails, and a crown of thorns. The director? The Father. The producer? The Holy Spirit. The audience? Us.

While cruising through life, we may cringe and moan when it slaps us in the face but we have hope in that glorious day when all our troubles will be swept away. If there's hammer pants in heaven, I'm wearing some. Hamma time!  

Happy Thursday! :)

The little things...

What if Thanksgiving was everyday? Just take out the turkey and the mash potatoes. And if your me, the depression that follows gaining weight after my third plate.  On that day, that national holiday, we gather around the dinner table and give thanks for the many things the Lord has blessed us with. Our families, our friends, our jobs, our churches, our homes. But what if everyday, every second, every hour, every minute of our day was filled with thanksgiving for the small things that get us through our day. Today I am thankful for..

- The snooze button on my alarm clock. Those extra 10 minutes of sleep are heaven.
- My 1991 Honda. Even though it's missing a hubcap and still bumps an a-track it gets me where I need to be.
- Hairspray and scrunchy. After waking up 15 minutes before having to leave to school, they saved me from having a bad hair day.
- I was early to class. Which is HUGE when I'm usually always the last one in.
- The blueberry muffin I'm having as I write this. I love muffins. Alot.
- My flip flops. I like my feet to have ventilation.
- The guy who let me have his parking spot this morning  at school, even though he clearly got there first. I kinda wanted to ask him to marry me.

It's the little things that matter. While giving thanks for the big things in our life is great and expected, it's the little things the Lord puts in our way that we should also be thankful for. Like flip flops and and hairspray. We all have things to be thankful for. It is God who grants us each day to live, to love, to learn, and to give thanks. What are you thankful for today?

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Happy Tuesday!

Making the first move...

"You should just tell him how you feel." she wrote to me as we chatted. "TELL-HIM-HOW-I-FEEL!?!?" I questioned weather or not my friend had gone mad. And she had. The thought of me, possibly putting myself up to complete vulnerability by confessing what I try so well to keep inside sounded like complete crazy talk. The last time I so boldly confessed my undeniable affection to a guy was in the fourth grade in Mrs.Sing's class. His name was Daniel and I thought I was going to marry him because he had cute dimples and shiny hair. I didn't tell him in person though, oh no, I did what every cool 9 year old would do in this situation. I wrote the kid a letter  saying how I liked him. I wanted to ask what conditioner he used but thought it was too weird.  And, it was in cursive, so he could know I was classy. Needless to say, my tactic didn't work. A week later he told me he had thrown the letter away and that he didn't like me. I wanted to tell on him.

Anyways, I got over my 9 year old minor heartbreak, and now that I'm older I'm not that brave. Okay, I'm a total chicken. If you ask me, a girl telling a guy she likes him is like wearing a Chanel gown with combat boots. To a pool party. I personally don't get it.. I told one of my friends this the other day and she reminded me we're living in the 21st century and that its normal for girls to tell a guy she likes him. I died. Then I ranted on questions like "What if I faint when telling him I like him from hyperventilating?" and "What if he doesn't like me back? and What if when I tell him I like him he never wants to talk to me again because he hates me!!??" She said I was exaggerating. I think its being cautious. Whatever.  I do my best not to even show a guy when I'm interested in him, that I'm interested in him because I'm honestly too afraid of rejection. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm allergic to it. I clearly remember breaking out in hives after Daniel told me he didn't like me back. I'm complicated I know. I'm working on all this I promise. Well Jesus is.

What do you think? Is it okay for a girl to make the first move? And ladies, if you have any funny stories like mine, by all means, sharing is caring! haha

Goodnight ya'll! :)